Somewhere Some Place, from facebook journal

You came into my life just like a soft bouquet of flowers and you disappeared like a quill of bird along with the gush of wind somewhere in the earth.  

We were separated from each other many decades ago with mutual understanding so far we believe but we did not swear that we will speak no more but happened as if we promised to not speak. I never imagined even in my dream that we will have such kind of status. Do you think we have terminated even our platonic relation? Of course not….if you ask me this question. I was ready to give you a company even forever when you were desperate to get a company with someone but you overlooked. This became turning point in my life. It helped me a lot to understand about life and its journey. Thanks buddy….in this sense.

When you moved away, I once asked you to continue relation with friends including me just like we had but you dint take into account. You omitted many of the friends from the lists and especially deleted me who used to be special for you before we broke up. You lost from our blissful samsara. Hopefully you’ve found some divine place that is not accessible to the people like us. If it’s so I will definitely happy for you ‘coz you know that your happiness was/is my happYness-you must have realized it. I know we won’t meet but we may see to each other and moreover we may feel each other. At least I will do for sure. You may regret about our past but I will miss it as the most wonderful moment in my life. Life goes on friend and the past shows the path how we should walk on at present. I wont say it was ugly truth for our the then relation but contrary to that, I have internalized it as a sweet memoir we had together.

People may laugh at us if I mentioned the reason why you left….I also sometimes laugh and feel some tears rolling down my face. You may not think we had a bad company but you wont say good company either but I will say it was divine company even if it was short. Some short moments are so deepened that we wander there forever. I think I am still wandering in that short memory ‘coz it was unforgettable though I tried so much and so many times to forget. I think there must be some divine thing in our relation. The relation is defined subjectively how an individual take it. I took it as a divine one but you might have taken same or just opposite or different…!!! Every time I wake up early in the morning, I see you and try to feel you. This is some kind of madness…a hallucination, hearing or visualizing the thing which is not existed in the surrounding moreover delusion, believing existence which is hundred percent false. I love to have delusion sometimes and get lost over on it. This is how mad people love to get lost in virtual world created by the beautiful accident that they were across with.

High School Chronicle: First Mark in Trigonometry

I was studying in government high school in grade eight. It just came out in my mind that I should join boarding school. I just shared my desire with my mom.  'Daamlo badhna mann lagyo?!' She said, 'you are doing well in government school, so….'  'Well mom, I wanna do more.' I replied immediately. She then readily accepted. Dad also encouraged me to do more. School's principal was asked about my entry in that boarding school. I was ready for entrance test and was waiting in admin office. When principal knew that I was the first boy in government school, he just accepted me in same grade though I was prepared for grade seven. I even needed not appear in the entrance test.

Everybody was looking at me. Some talked to me some were yet to talk. Since I was new, every teacher asked my introduction. All the regular students were in their own flock and I was with my high school friend who also admitted just one month before I did. People did not accept me easily and I adjusted my sit with girls. It was not ease to sit with girls because I was shy and naïve one. But girls readily welcomed me.

Since I was there after 3 months of educational year, all the courses were far from me. All the subjects I was following but trigonometry. It was out of my understanding. Teacher was teaching but I was unable to say I did not understand. Sin, cos, cosec, sec, tan and cot- their formulation, I was not able to get a single idea about. Finally Unit test came. I tried to cram all the formulae before test. I was sweating and getting headache going through those formulae and calculation. I attended trigonometry test, I could not do anything. I could not apply any trigonometric formula since I had not understood how to apply them but I tried to apply some algebraic formula where it was possible otherwise nothing had been attempted. Result! I got zero mark. The teacher asked me what the reason was. I could not say anything. After class, I found some friends who were really weak in this subject. We joined the tuition class of our teacher. After completion of one month tuition class, I appeared in half yearly exam and I performed well in all subjects including trigonometry securing second position in class. Furthermore, I secured hundred percent mark in Trigonometry. Everybody was surprised. Thereafter I quitted the tuition class.

After this exam, people accepted me and welcomed in their community and I needed not to sit with girls. Though it was great relief for me but I really appreciated girls' supportive role during sitting with them.

Dedicated to grade eight classmates of Arjun Boarding High School:

Tamrajung Basnet, Laxmi Gharti, Laila KC, Rama Thapa, Bishnu Basnet, Baburam Panthi, Laxman Bhushal, Narendra Shrestha, Mohan Panthi, Krishna Regmi, Kedar Pandey, Sunil Marasini, Subas Shrestha, Arun Bhushal, Suraj Pandey, Bashanti Gharti and Bhagwati Subedi

Sweet Memoirs from Childhood, part-3

To begin something is difficult and to maintain it is more difficult. We try our best to give the best result of the job accomplished by us. Some beginnings are really innocent. Many of the times, we do mistakes while beginning but if we get proper guidance, we can get rid of the mistakes.

I was staying in mamaghar till 5th year of my life since it was difficult for mom to raise her two sons so I was sent to mamaghar. I had no problem in mamaghar. Everybody used to love me. I was really enjoying the life there though I felt unusual at beginning being far from mom and dear brother.

All my friends started going school. One day mom came to mamaghar and asked me come home for schooling. I joined school back in home. We were given two books- Mahendramala (Nepali) and Ganit (Mathematics). I was so happy getting new books from school. The books were free of cost up to class three.

 

One day our class teacher asked us to write vyanjan varna (consonant letter). We had just started the class and we had no idea how to write. I returned home. I did not tell anything to my parents. Next day, it’s already 9 o’clock but I was not prepared for school. My father asked me why I was not ready for school. I mentioned the problem. He wrote me all the vyanjan varna and I was happy for that. I went to school. I showed the assignment to my teacher. He readily knew that it was not my hand-writing. He asked me, ‘Is it yours?’ I replied, ‘No’ he did not scold me but he softly asked me to write on my own.

Next day, I wrote vyanjan varna with the help of my father and I went to school and showed my class teacher, he was so happy with me and encouraged to write on my own.

Sweet Memoirs from childhood, part- 2

Those days in primary school were so beautiful that I always try to recall them time and again though most of them were bitter ones. We are selfish ones. We always look for our vested interest but do not care about others. Some people are really helpful even in these days too but we do not know how to value their sacrifice for us.

 

Going school early in the morning coming back home and asking mom, ‘Bhok lagyo…’ for some snacks right from the gate of our house were daily activities of my life. Nobody was there to guide us for studying. I had observed the knowledge whatever I got in school teaching learning activities. We hardly used to read the books in home except for exam.

I can still remember, I had lost my social science book and I knew that I had lost. I could not recover it until the final exam came. I was really helpless and I shared this with my classmates. One of my friends said she would give it to me. When I asked her ‘Why?’ she replied, ‘I have extra book.’ I happily accepted her help. Next day she brought me social science book. I thanked her a lot.  After one week, I found my lost book from somebody else and I returned the book that I had borrowed from her. She looked so happy and strange that I got my book.

We finished exam. We had vacation after final exam. We used to go to jungle to bring grasses and firewood along with cattle. During that time, one of our friends told me she did not have extra book; she was just giving me what she had. Later I asked her about it. She admitted she had only one book. She further mentioned, ‘If it’s given to you for preparation you will secure good marks but if I read it I even may not secure pass mark so it’s better to give it to you.’ I was just taken aback with her answer.